A Collection of Challenges
by Lumpeyeone
Summary: Pretty much what the title says. These are small little chapters that I'd like to see become stories but know I'd never do them justice. (More than Naruto represented) Also including story blockers. Rated M for swearing and future violence.
1. Chapter 1 revised

Naruto Uzumaki was unusually quiet. This morning he woke up to take is ninja graduation exam for the third time. Just like his previous attempts he was thwarted by his inability to use the clone jutsu. As he sulked about his failure, one of his instructors informed of a secret makeup test he could use to pass. For this test he stole the Forbidden Scroll from the Hokage Tower and snuck into the woods to learn a technique which he was told would allow him to pass. The interference of another academy instructor revealed the test as a ploy to steal the scroll and kill him. To top it off Naruto learned he was the container for the Nine Tailed Fox and that it was the reason the village hated him. After receiving encouraging words from Iruka, Naruto used the Shadow Clone Jutsu he learned from the scroll to defeat the traitorous instructor Mizuki. Iruka then gave him his headband to signify his place as a shinobi for the village. The elite ANBU ninja then arrived on the scene to escort Iruka to the hospital and take Naruto and the scroll to the Hokage.

If that was all that happened then Naruto would have been able to roll with the punches and keep on acting like he used to.

Unfortunately, it wasn't.

When Naruto arrived in the Hokage's office, he was stunned to see the Fourth Hokage, the man who died to seal the fox in him, was very much alive. His wife also turned out to be alive and kicking and Naruto even met their daughter who was not only the same age as him but also had the same birthday as well. The Fourth Hokage then gave Naruto the world shaking news that has caused his slience.

It turns out that Naruto was the Son of the Fourth Hokage and his wife and was also the elder twin brother of Katsumi who was the REAL container of the Nine Tailed Fox. Minato (the Fourth Hokage) only sealed a small portion of the Fox's chakra into Naruto and said portion was to burn itself out that very night. It also turns out they were planning to marry Naruto to his twin and a few other clan heiresses to rebuild the Uzumaki clan even Sasune Uchiha, who had been living in a Henge as a boy since her older brother killed everyone in the Uchiha clan except her and her mother Mikoto, was in the list.

It has been exactly three minutes since then and Naruto is unusually quiet with his hair shadowing his eyes but not even the Third Hokage is worried. It is Katsumi who breaks the silence.

"Naruto-Nii?" She reached out slowly.

"Don't you fucking touch me you spoiled little brat." She flinches back at his harsh tone. The low volume of his words startling the adults gathered. Minato and Kushina couldn't believe he would talk to his sister and future wife like that while Hiruzen realized just how bad they had all fucked up. He thought Naruto's silence was a sign of his acceptance but now that he heard Naruto curse he knew the young Uzumaki was ABSOLUTELY LIVID.

"Naruto, apologize to your sister at once!" Kushina tried to admonish her son (she really did it's just Katsumi never acted out so she never had to be punished so this is really all she knows).

"Go fuck a tree you hypocritical piece of shit." Kushina's jaw dropped open and Kastumi covered her mouth as she gasped.

"You can't talk to your family like that young man." Minato held Naruto in his parental glare.

"Families raise their kids. They don't abandon a child just because that kid 'might' draw attention away from training." He put emphasis on the word might. Minato was flabbergasted that his son would talk like this to him. Naruto points to the Hiruzen. "Did you know about any of this?" The Third's slience speaks for itself. "Right." Naruto walks up to the desk and flips through the papers until he comes upon his incomplete registration form. He gives it a quick once-over to find his signature already on it, as well as his full name and family relations filled out. The only thing missing was the stamp of approval. "I don't remember signing this."

"That's because I did it for you." Naruto looks at Minato. "I had a feeling you'd be like your mother and not want to do it so I stepped in."Naruto's blank stare gets him to elaborate. "You see as your father and a previous and future Hokage, I have the right to submit those forms for you and Hiruzen told us all how you wanted to be the greatest Hokage ever." Naruto turns to the Third and stares directly into his eyes.

"That so?"

"Yup!" Minato was estatic. _"Maybe there's a chance to salvage this after all."_ Naruto then stuns the room by tearing the form to shreds and letting the pieces fall to the office floor all while retaining eye contact with the Third. He then removes the headband Iruka gave him and puts it on the desk, his orange jacket soon following it.

"Naruto-Nii, why would you do that? Don't you want to be a ninja with me?" Katsume looked ready to cry.

"Professionally speaking? Fuck no." Tears began to fall down his sister's cheeks. "Personally speaking, Right now I wouldn't give two fucks if the lot of you got opened up like one of Orochimaru's experiments and bled out on the floor." The adults gained serious expressions while Katsume fell to her knees openly weeping at Naruto's words.

"And exactly how do you know of my former student's experiments?" The Third Hokage asked the young blond.

"Stumbling into one of his old labs is the only reason I survived my fifth, sixth, and eighth birthdays. There is some messed up shit down there." The Third's eyes widened, he thought his old student only had one lab in the village.

"_How many labs did he have? How many did I fail to save from my negligence?"_

"Regardless, you have no right to talk to us like that." Minato folded his arms in front of his chest.

"I have no right?" The question didn't really sound like a question.

"Exactly, there's no reason for to be acting like this." Kushina was backing her husband.

"That's actually pretty funny." The Namikaze trio was visibly confused. "You abandoned me for fifteen years in this shithole of village to be beaten on a daily basis for something that isn't even true. Then you walk in here acting all high and mighty expecting me to welcome you back with wide open arms after all this time and concede to your every wish. You want to put me in an arranged marriage with my own twin and who knows who else you picked. And to top it all of you expect me to take all this shit with smile on my face because you're my family?" He lets out a dark chuckle. "The funniest part was the family shtick. You see I learned something from the academy about certain rules in certain clans. One in particular stood out. It was the first tenant of the Uzumaki Clan." He sends a pointed look to Kushina. "You should be familiar with it. Never abandon blood no matter the result…" Kushina pales. "To abandon blood is to disown blood. Any claim the Uzumaki clan had on me was forfeit the day you left me here."

"That's why you are marrying as heir of the Namikaze clan." Minato pointed out.

"No I'm not. You married the Uzumaki heiress meaning you married into the Uzumaki clan and are subject to their laws. That's means you gave up your familial rights to me as well. I am officially a ward of the state with no ties to either of your families other then the blood in my veins. I also own an apartment, which means I have been officially recognized as an adult of this village for seven years. None of you can make decisions about me without my express consent and since I'm a civilian, you can't touch me." Katsumi was looking at their (now they're just hers) parents, hoping her (former) brother's words were false. Kushina turned away, unable to look her daughter in the eye.

"Naruto perhaps you're being a bit too unfair. Look at it from their point of view."

"My apologies Honorable Third Hokage but that is exactly what I am doing. I will, however, admit my emotions may be clouding my judgment and as such I shall take my leave and go to the only place in this village I am actually safe at. Good day." Naruto walks to the office door, Katsumi snaps from her sadness.

"Naruto-nii…"

"I SAID GOOD DAY!" He raised his voice for the first time the entire meeting. Katsumi visibly recoiled at his shout and silently watched as he left the office.

"Hiruzen, what happened to our son to make him like this?"

"I am an old man, Minato. There are many things I regret. Failing your son is the biggest of them all."

"What do you mean you failed him?" Kushina asked. The Third took his seat behind the desk and sighed. He had a feeling he would be doing that a lot more.

"You two need to realize the village was in a major panic after the Kyuubi attack. There may not have been that many casualties but people were stilled frightened and the village suffered damage that would takes years to fix. I couldn't let them know a masked Uchiha caused the attack and the two of you took your daughter to train and beat him. Or that you sealed a portion of the Kyuubi's chakra into him to make a fake Jinchuuriki so as to protect your daughter. So in my stupidity, I called the council together and informed them that the two of you were dead and acted as though Naruto was the real Jinchuuriki."

"I don't see the problem. They should be treating him like a hero." Minato interrupted the Third Hokage.

"They didn't. The second I let the council know about Naruto, they were calling for his blood and calling him the demon reborn. I passed a law that made Naruto's burden an S-ranked secret. I was foolish enough to believe they would listen to me due to my reinstatement. By the time the sun rose everyone knew what happened in the council chambers."

"The 'Honorable Council' revealed an S-ranked secret? About time you finally got rid of those dumb bastards. Where are they buried?"

"I can assure you Kushina, they are very much alive. Due to a majority of the shinobi holding the same hate for the beast, I was never able to find out who leaked the information and couldn't punish the ones responsible."

"What did they do to Onii-san?"

"To make a long story short, in the last fifteen years Naruto has been the victim of 4238 mob beatings, 715 attempted murders and 6 kidnappings. The worst part of it being that all those came from inside the village walls. Not to mention the fact that most shopkeepers wouldn't even allow the boy in their stores and the ones that did triple charged him for goods. I had to give him an apartment when he was eight because the orphanage kicked him out on his fourth birthday. The only place that was ever nice to him was Ichiraku Ramen, even the academy was stunting his growth and teaching him in a way that would have gotten him killed. This was his third and LAST chance to graduate and MY last chance to fix my mistakes with the boy and get him some kind of support or friends." Katsumi's open balling drew a saddened look from the old man. Kushina embraced her daughter, trying to give her support as her own tears fell. Minato stood gazing out the office window with an impassive gaze. "However…" The Namikaze family turned as one. "…despite everything that was thrown at him, he would stand up and smile. That same smile you used to give and that your daughter most likely mastered as well." Mother and daughter began to smile as they held each other closer. "I asked him how he could keep smiling through it all. He said he'd become the greatest Hokage the village had ever seen and gain everyone's respect."

**(WITH NARUTO)**

The blonde walked down the empty street with a blank face. His hands curled into fists so tight that blood was dripping to the ground. He needed something to vent his frustrations on.

"Where the hell do you think you're going demon brat?" A pompous Chunnin stood in Naruto's path. Naruto growled at the man. He smirked. "So the Kyuubi really IS showing its true colors. I thought Mizuki was just drunk. Be careful, a civilian attacking a ninja is a serious offence. You're in enough trouble as it is by stealing the scroll and assaulting Mizuki."

"Mizuki tricked me into to doing it and he tried to kill me. I was defending myself. If you don't believe me then you can ask Iruka."

"You mean the late Umino?" Naruto's eyes widened. "The poor man was brought into the hospital saying Mizuki attacked him and that his injuries came from protecting you. He was obviously under some kind of mind control so he had to be put down before his madness could spread to all the honest people of the village."

"Why the hell are you telling me this?"

"What are you talking about? You were seen leaving the village by the north gate to escape your trial."

"Wha…." Naruto is grabbed from behind, a white cloth covering his mouth. Despite his struggles, Naruto soon passes out and is flung over the shoulder of his attacker, now revealed as an ANBU agent.

"Make sure that thing stays locked up for at least a week." The ANBU nods and disappears in a sunshin. The chunnin let out a low chuckle, a poof of smoke dispelling his henge and revealing one Kakashi Hatake. "How did sensei lose to something that stupid?" He pulls a familiar orange book from his pouch, giving an occasional perverted chuckle as he made his own way home. No one would know what caused his disappearance and very few would care about him at all when their Fourth Hokage returned to the position, even with his news.

**(PROLOGUE: END)**

**This is actually a challenge. The only requirements are the events displayed MUST take place in your story in one way or another. Everything else is up to whoever decides to write it. Just be sure to send me the link to the story if you're interested in doing the challenge.**

**EDIT NOTE(12-16-12): It's been pointed out that I didn't go into enough detail to make this a challenge so I'll set some ground work.**

**1. Iruka isn't actually dead. It was just a lie to get Naruto to drop his guard.**

**2. No Konoha girls can be paired with Naruto. He doesn't trust anyone from Konoha anymore.**

**3. No one will ever know of Kakashi's role in Naruto's disappearance since Kakashi is never going to tell and Naruto doesn't know he was involved. The ANBU that performed the abduction MUST DIE in one way or another for this to work.**

**4. Naruto will just go by his first name to avoid associating with his family.**

**5. Whether he goes back to Konoha or works for another village is completely up to whoever takes the challenge. Same goes for training, specialty, and so on as long as they DON'T include any Uzumaki Jutsu or either of Minato's personal creations.**


	2. My First Story Blocker

**This is not actually a challenge. It's more of an idea that's been bouncing around in my head for awhile and distracting from my other stuff. It's not the only one either and until I get them all sorted out I won't be able to get back to more important matters such as FBC and NCSI. I HATE PLOT BUNNIES!**

Hey you.

Yeah, you.

You want to hear a story?

Come on, I promise it's a good one.

You see, there's this village in the east. A long time ago, this village was attacked by a great Nine Tailed Fox. A lot of people died but the leader of the village managed to stop the beast by sealing it in his son. Unfortunately, he died in the process and his wife died too so his son would grow up an orphan. The leader's last wish was for his son to be seen as a hero.

Things didn't really go as planned though as the former leader (the senile old man) took over the village again and decided that he'd rather have the boy as a puppet to be controlled with unseen strings. He made sure the kid's life was hell while making it seem like he (the old man I mean) was the good guy the kid could turn to. He culled his village's hatred and loss and turned it on the boy while swooping in at the last second to make sure he lived.

He even tricked the kid into becoming one of the village's shinobi. The kid was stuck on a team with the only person he openly despised and the girl he pretended to have a crush on. They spent a few months doing missions which were just chores the civilians of the village were too lazy to do themselves and 'teamwork' drills until the kid finally got fed up and asked for something better.

He got his wish with a mission to protect a client during a project. That client being a drunken bridge builder who apparently was being targeted by a tyrant that wanted to take over his country for…..something. The kid's team actually managed to work with him a bit and they all survived and the bridge builder built his bridge. The kid was shaken up though. See he met someone (that turned out to be an enemy he'd have to fight later) that really made him think. This person told him that the only time people are truly strong is when they have something or someone to protect. The kid didn't have any of that though since no one was really that close to him.

Things got better though because the kid's rival unlocked this power his family was famous for and started acting even more superior than he did before. And then they were signed up for this exam to advance their shinobi rank. The kid really didn't want to do it but knew if he didn't go and they ended up failing without him then he would be blamed and he really didn't want to deal with that.

The first part of the exam was a written test the kid managed to bluff his way through it. The second part was a survival test where the kid and his team had to get a scroll to go with the one their team was given to make a set, meaning they had to take the other scroll from another team. Things went south when one of the village's legendary ninja appeared in front of the kid's team, beat them up, and gave his rival some cursed hickey to get him to come to the hickey man's side and abandon the village like he did. The kid's team ended up getting helped by some of their old classmates and some older genin dude and managed to make it to the third part of the exam in time.

The third part was a series of one-on-one fights where the kid saw what people were really capable of. A redhead in the same situation as him attempted to crush his opponent with sand to 'prove his existence' by killing. Another example was a side branch Hyuuga who tried to kill his cousin (who he was sworn to protect) out of hatred for the main branch. Then the kid was put up against one of the top fighters from his graduating class while the kid himself wasn't even at half his best. Don't worry though, the kid still managed to win the fight and get into the true final round of the exam.

Turns out they all had to wait a month so most of the fighters left went to find training from either their families or from their team leaders. Well, except the kid since his own team leader was taking his rival out to train so he could fight the sand guy. The kid eventually met another of the legendary ninjas (except this one wasn't a traitor) who trained the kid. I wouldn't have called it training though, since he made the kid completely focus on one technique and then forbade him from using it. The only good thing the pervert did was get the kid back to 100% and surprisingly enough the kid actually managed to beat the Hyuuga jerk.

After an extension to his rivals' match (I say the bastard should've been disqualified for being late), another competitor dropping out, and a three hour match, the smug prick finally showed up just before the extension ran out. In the middle of the match the village was invaded by the hickey givers' army. The sand guy took off to regain some strength and the kid's rival took off after him so the kid had to take his other teammate and go after him. Eventually the kid had to fight the sand guy and found out he had a demon sealed in him too. With the help of the toad summons and his own demonic burden, the kid managed to beat the sand guy and turned him away from being a psycho killer that even his own siblings feared.

Even though the main threat of the invasion had been downed, the man who orchestrated it still lived and managed to kill the old man at the cost of his arms. That didn't mean the kid's life would be getting any better though. The old man had a plan in place to get back his final student if he were to ever die so the pervert that taught the kid dragged him out of the village to find the woman.

Of course even this mission had its perils when the kid came face to face with two S-ranked criminals that wanted to abduct him. The old pervert managed to scare them off but not before the kids' rival was put into a coma by one of the men's techniques. It was a good thing the woman they were looking was a medic or that brat would have been S.O.L. They eventually caught up to the old lady and her apprentice in a bar. The kid finally learned they only sought the old hag out to be the new leader of the village. The kid exploded at her when she insulted the other leaders for dying even though she the first two were directly related to her. The kid ended up fighting the old hag and showing off a move the pervert had been teaching him. The old hag made a bet with the kid that if he could master it in a week then she would become the leader of the village. The end of the week showed that the snake traitor got to the old hag first and said he'd bring her precious people back from the dead if she healed his arms. The kid, the pervert, and the hag's apprentice all caught up to the hag as she was fighting the traitor's lackey. The lackey threw blood on her face, causing her to lock up and the old hag's student took over fighting the lackey while the pervert started duking it out with the snake traitor. Eventually the snake, the pervert, and the old hag brought out their respective boss summons for a two on one fight and the kid managed to get a major blow on the snake's lackey, nearly killing the bitch. The snake and his lackey ran from the battle and the old hag gave the kid her necklace since he won their bet.

The kid's rival and 'sensei' were the first to get healed when they got back. The kid's rival had a few problems though. You see, the guy that put him in that coma was his older brother who killed their clan, the Uchiha, for 'attempting to start a coup'. He also thought the kid didn't deserve any of the strength he had even though the kid put in a ton of hard work to get where he was so they duked it out on the roof before their scarecrow of a sensei broke up the fight and admonished the kid for using his strongest technique while ignoring the fact the kid's rival just tried to kill him. The kid's rival went off to brood like an emo till he got approached by the snake traitor's 'elite guard' who told him the traitor was going to give him more power if he went with them. So he did.

The kid got put on a team to track the emo down and bring him back. The team members ended up splitting off from the group one at a time in order to fight the emo's escort in one on one battles. Throw in a little help from the from the sand guy the kid fought during the invasion and the guy he (the sand guy) nearly killed in the prelims and it left the kid and the emo to go at it at the Valley of the End (damn pretentious name if you ask me). The kid tried to talk the emo into coming back to their village but that didn't work out so well so he and the kid went at it. The emo ended up using his upgraded hickey and bloodline and only won the fight because the kid didn't want to kill him even though the emo didn't feel the same. Kid did his job though as he held the emo long enough for their "sensei" to show up and knock the emo out and get them both back to the village.

Kid ended up getting punished since he used "excessive force" bringing the emo back. He had an ally in the current Hokage though since she was the woman he and the pervert went to look for. She changed his sentence to getting dropped from the program. Kid was disillusioned with the shinobi life as it was so he made a simple decision and left the village to come here to the western continent. Old hag thought he was crazy to come here since we were almost always fighting but the kid wouldn't hear it and came anyway. Nobody saw him off except that redhead he smacked sense into and his siblings. Kid gave him a bunch a journals he wrote living in the village so red could get the story to anyone who'd listen and then the kid took off.

Huh? What happened next?

Hell if I know. Kid hasn't made a peep since he crossed the border. Don't even know if he's still alive but something tells me he won't go down that easy.

How'd I know all this? I vacation in Suna. I figured that's why you came here in the first place. I guess your spy network ain't so great after all eh, Jiraiya?

Huh? Overlord? Your spies do suck. That bastard's been dead for three years now.

How'd it happen? Some blind samurai kid trained by the bastard's brother, Used some secret technique to break the bastard's "Unbreakable Blade". (Snort) They're even saying he used a wooden katana to do it. At sixteen no less. There are even rumors about the kid stopping some demon invasion a year back but I ain't seen any demons or nothing.

What? What does who look like? The blind guy? Blonde, about his mid back and done up in a ponytail. Wears a stupid orange button up and over sized grey slacks with wooden sandals like yours. I think he's around nineteen or something.

Good luck.

Oh! If you do find him, be sure to call him Shogun.

Why? He earned it. Taking down the old bastard isn't something anyone could do. He was a paranoid coot and he ruled these lands with an iron fist. Kid had to go through the generals in their home turf before he'd even stand a chance getting close to the old bastard. He deserves the title, even if he doesn't want it.


	3. Rules

**SELF IMPOSED RULES PART UNO**

I will never write a harem story, EVER. _The only thing holding together relationships like that is sex and too much sex CAN KILL a man. So I'll be keeping any romantic relationships as realistic as possible so just having two girls sharing a guy is pushing it with me. As for reverse harems well there's a word for that. It's called being a slut. And for all you people who think it's okay if all the girls love your main character… To put it simply, they don't and the way your writing plays out doesn't help your case. They all seek out your lead on either a schoolyard crushing or sexual attraction. NOT LOVE!_

I will never write yaoi or yuri. _No bias on this part I just don't really understand homosexuality from a psychological standpoint. I can understand being attracted to members of the same sex I just don't know what goes on inside their heads or what they look for in a potential mate. This is not gay bashing as I refuse to hate something until I've gathered enough information as to make an informed decision._

I will not write genderbenders. _If I do break this rule it will merely be for comedic purposes or a particular story arc. Gender bent characters may be visually appealing in some cases but generally end up being poorly drawn out in terms of personality or exactly the same with different 'bits' and an inexplicable infatuation to a character who would was just their counterparts friend or rival._

I will not write incest. _Because it's disgusting and the only time it's appealing is in hentai. This is not hentai, it is fanfiction. Hentai has pictures. I could be wrong on that last part as I don't know the definition of hentai._

I will keep weeaboo to a minimum. _Which means I will be sticking with my primary language ENGLISH (US) and only stray into other languages and dialects when I know for a fact what they mean. It also helps that I don't actually know how to get those accent thing to show up when I do type in other languages nor can I get any other symbols to appear. People who flip tables and throw glitter on Youtube, I salute you._

I will use logic when writing and research source material. _It may delay things every now and again but it's a small price to pay if you don't end up getting side tracked when you notice your lack of foresight has turned your story into a crapshoot that takes you months to clean only to get side tracked once more because all those little corrections you made cause plot bunnies to multiply in your head and keep you from focusing._

I will never allow Grell from Black Butler to meet Karin from Naruto in any format. _I have enough nightmare fuel as it is._

I will go over all work to insure everything is spelled correctly and used in the correct way. _I have seen the horrors of the first time writers and physically ill from the horrible grammer._

I will not write lemons. _It's all been done before and even if I did manage one it'd just come off bland and unappealing._

I will own up to my mistakes. _I forgot about the headband in FBC. I've had to change my password twice due to me forgetting it. Every single mention of anything sexual for any reason is less to do with perversion and more to do with me shamelessly increasing my word count. I was also waiting to see if "The Story Purge" was still in effect and didn't want to lose any of my work._

Vore, Gore and other unappealing topics will not be used in any story. _Unless It's in response to another's story on the subject in which case it will merely be used to point out flaws in there logic and relentlessly mock their plot. Except rape. I'll accept rape in my stories but it will be mentioned or talked about fairly rarely and never outright described._

Bashing will be kept to a minimum unless it is being used as part of a larger conspiracy. _Spoilers for FBC!_

I will try to keep my stories as realistic as possible. _This generally means people acting like people rather than mindless sheep and some light character development._

I will never perform a personality transplant in a crossover. _You know what I'm talking about. So-an-so is a long lost descendent and or student of such-and-such so they dress, act, and fight exactly like the fucker without any consideration to the character. Even big names like T.I.M. are guilty of this from time to time. You don't need to make your Naruto, Ichigo or (god forbid) Harry Potter into a fucking palette swap to get a good story._

I will answer all legitimate reviews via PM. _All 'anonymous' reviews will be ignored or flagged depending on content._

I will not be a review whore. _Nor will I shamelessly promote material unless it's actually good._


	4. Datalog

I begin this journal with a simple question.

What has happened to me? I was one of the greatest minds in the country and a chessmaster matched only by the royal family and that is only because I was forced to hold back if I wanted my head to remain attached. My research led to technological breakthroughs that no one else could have achieved for centuries after my time. Now instead of advancing the boundaries of science the only thing I focus on is beating _**him**_.

Sigh, I'm getting ahead of myself.

When I first began this little excursion I didn't see anything wrong with my actions. I grew up under the philosophy of 'Might is Right' and 'Take what you want' so this was all just a way to pass the time until I could go home. I was always too curious for my own good though and that's what got me stranded here in the first place. A foolish teen wishing to sail among the stars, following in his grandfather's footsteps and exploring new worlds, building a spaceship and sailing through the void without any direction. It was pure coincidence I landed on the same world as him and by then I had grown into an adult.

The first time I saw one of these natives I was fascinated not only by their looks but their culture. It's not everyday you see sentient anthropomorphic animals (mirroring many species from my home planet albeit some having odd coloring or unique talents). I wanted to learn everything I possibly could about them so I just walked right up to the village and started asking any questions I could draw from the top of my head. It wasn't the best thing to do in a first contact scenario considering I didn't even know if they could speak my language or if they were hostile towards outsiders.

My luck held strong though as they were quite hospitable and were very patient with me. They wanted to know as much about my world as I did theirs. They even allowed me to stay when night began to fall. The planet was named Mobius and the natives Mobians and they are no strangers to technology (as their largest cities had abundant amounts keeping them running) and were able to follow many of my descriptions of Earth. They were a bit upset at my country's policies but seemed to look at me with pride when I said I considered mine a country of fools.

The two biggest things to stand out to me that night were the legend of the Chaos Emeralds and the mayor's daughter demonstrating just how close our biology was to theirs. I'll admit I never expected my first sexual experience to be with an anthropomorphic rabbit who was a scant few inches shorter than myself but I could never bring myself to be surprised. I wonder how she's doing these days? Nevermind, it's not important. I doubt she even remembers me and if she does then she's probably as disgusted with myself as I am.

I would only spend a few short weeks in the village, helping out where I could to gather supplies for my self imposed journey. They were more than willing to give it all to me but I didn't feel right not doing something for them in return. Mother didn't raise a spoiled brat after all. Leaving the village actually made me feel worse than leaving my own home for the last time as everyone came to see me off. I haven't been back there since.

I would spend the next three years drifting from village to town to metropolis learning what I could about the Chaos Emeralds and Mobius in general before finally settling in the capitol. I was frustrated. I had plenty of theories but the lack of any real information meant my search for the Chaos Emeralds was at an impasse. All I really knew was that there were seven of them and their existence predates written history. So obsessed was I with the emeralds that I built a bio suit to hide my identity and sought to conquer the world in my belief that someone would come forward with the emeralds to stop me.

I was in Green Hill Zone when I first saw him through my suit's cybernetic eyes, a blue blur by the name of Sonic the Hedgehog. I thought his appearance before me was a fluke so I attempted to scare him off. I'll admit I wasn't taking him seriously but I didn't expect to stick around and fight me let alone win. I couldn't believe his speed and kept testing him as he made his way through my 'badniks' and rescuing the small animals I used to power them. He even managed to best me in my private lab on South Island before I realized he held six of the Chaos Emeralds. I threw quite a tantrum over my own failure to procure one before I realized it really didn't matter as I could just try again. All I needed was a scan of their energies and I would be able to find them myself later.

A few months after my failure, I heard a legend saying Westside Island held the final Chaos Emerald and soon found myself following Sonic to my destination. I laid siege to the island with a new army of badniks and once more played the villain, challenging Sonic and his new sidekick Miles 'Tails' Prower at every turn. Of course it wasn't until the launch of my Death Egg satellite and Sonic's battle with my Mecha Sonic robot that my black scanner lenses finally identified the unique energy signature of the Chaos Emeralds. Nothing else during that scenario mattered in my mind and I was already formulating different experiments to test the emeralds power. I just had to find them first.

I built a small scanning satellite to search the planet for any trace of the emeralds power and allowed my thoughts to drift onto others matters, specifically Sonic. I wondered if I could replicate his abilities artificially which led to my Mecha Sonic in the first place. It wasn't enough though as I wanted to improve them and made my first true mistake by creating Metal Sonic who I believed would be the real Sonic's superior. All I needed was a testing ground which literally appeared in the sky. Little Planet, home of the Time Stones was the perfect proving ground for my newest invention but like my previous endeavors Metal Sonic failed and Sonic gained another ally by the name of Amy Rose.

It was then my satellite detected a massive Chaos Emerald near the crash site of the Death Egg on the floating Angel Island. A single sentence to the guardian of the island, Knuckles the Echidna, and I was free to explore and repair the Death Egg whilst he kept Sonic and Tails busy. I sent a robotic doppelganger of myself out as well so I could focus on repairing the Death Egg and studying the Master Emerald. I was so excited when I finally got the former to launch that I was caught off guard when Sonic broke in and fought my doppelganger, eventually causing enough damage that my Death Egg crashed INTO A GOD DAMNED VOLCANO! So I had to steal the Master Emerald in order to get it airborne again only for Sonic to come in with these Super Emeralds and destroy all my hard work.

Ooh, the EggRobo that caused all this is lucky that Echidna got to him first.

Huh, guess that's where my actual anger started. I can see why. The Death Egg was my crowning achievement, my masterpiece if you will.

It was because of this anger I made my second mistake and the Chaos incident occurred. What was I thinking, trying to control such a destructive creature? Feeding it Chaos Emeralds? I should have known such a plan would backfire horribly. Why didn't I prepare for such a scenario? A scientist should always be prepared for a worst case scenario no matter the odds. I didn't even draw up a hypothesis. I just assumed everything would be fine. It wouldn't be the last time I made that mistake either. This…mistake was also the first time I wore my new and improved bio suit adding in longer limbs and giving my villain persona a more human appearance. Come to think of it it's also the first time I ever heard Sonic speak.

Oh, right. I also finished my research on the Chaos Emeralds that year.

Three years after that incident I finally found my grandfathers legacy, the Space Colony ARK and Project Ultimate Life Form. From reading his journal I came to hate the humans who called Mobius their home for the abuse they put my grandfather through. How their government held him and his daughter Maria, an aunt I never got to know, hostage so as to work for them. I woke the Ultimate Life Form aka Shadow the Hedgehog to gather the Chaos Emeralds to power the Eclipse Cannon and hold the city that benefited from my grandfather's pain hostage. If I had just read the whole thing through I wouldn't have fallen for his trap and set the ARK on a collision course for the planet.

Then Metal Sonic took me hostage and used my Egg Fleet in order to lay a trap for Sonic and his friends and copy their bio data and evolve himself into a higher being. He still lost and that's all I want to say about that ordeal.

Next we have Soleanna. The less said about this the better.

I still have no idea why I thought the Dark Gaia affair would work. Maybe all that Chaos energy warped my brain or something.

Then I subjugated the Wisps to build an interstellar amusement park and some kind of mind control beam. Admittedly I could have done the latter without having to do the former, I just didn't. I was also incredibly high planning the whole thing. I think the only good that came out of this whole fiasco was me finally perfecting deep space engines for my ships. These events also lead into my latest blunder.

The Time Eater. This was a worse mistake than Dark Gaia and Chaos combined. Teaming up with my past self was interesting and all but was I really willing to erase time itself just to get rid of Sonic? Despite it making me remember Soleanna, the answer is yes. I was so consumed by my hatred over my constant failures that I fell to such a petty level. My past self and I only recently escaped to our proper times.

I have spent twenty years being Mobius' greatest villain. I'm tired of it all.

I want to go home, back to Earth. So I'm leaving. The ship will be finished in a few weeks(without that stupid Eggman face) and the only robots I built that are still active are Omega and possibly Metal Sonic.

I've ditched the bio suit as well. It feels good to run my fingers through my hair again. And the sun. I've missed the sun. God, I should have done this years ago. It's nice to just sit back and relax.

**JOURNAL LOG 0001 END**

A red haired man sets his datapad on the grass.

"I wonder what it's like on Earth right now." He lies back from his sitting position, cupping his hands behind his head with a small smile. "Hmm, it should be spring in Japan. I heard the cherry blossoms are beautiful."


End file.
